Forgiveness

Philemon

​How do you relate to a person who has wronged you based on his or her status with Jesus Christ? It’s a contradiction to say you love God if you fail to love others, especially fellow followers of Jesus. A humbled heart of forgiveness and reconciliation must be our Christ-like goal in all situations, but more so with a brother or sister in Christ. Like the Parodical Son and Onesimus who strayed, we must receive them in the love of Christ with a heart to restore and celebrate.

There are two statements in Paul’s letter to Philemon that remind us of what Jesus did for us. “Receive him [Onesimus] as you would me” reminds us that we are “accepted in the Beloved family of God” and “Put that on my account” reminds us that Jesus paid the price for our redemption, our salvation.

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:21 (ESV)

With a letter from a prisoner to his friend, Paul greeted Philemon, his “much-loved coworker,” along with Apphia, probably Philemon’s wife, and Archippus, his son, and the church that met in their house. Though Paul had never been to Colosse, he may have led Philemon to Christ, and we may suppose this wealthy believer had prayed for and financially invested in Paul’s ministry.

In Colossians, Paul seemed to imply that Archippus had become pastor in Colosse when Epaphras, founder of the church, went to Rome to visit Paul in prison. Paul’s praise in the opening of this letter may have been both an expression of respect for Philemon and an attempt to butter him up for the request that was coming, but he had great reason to follow the Spirit and help restore this difficult situation where Onesimus, once a slave and now a believer, escaped Philemon. Paul’s request was to receive Onesimus back for he would be useful for the ministry or in service for the Lord.

“Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, 9 yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— 10 I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. 11 (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) 12 I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. 13 I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, 14 but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. 15 For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, 16 no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. 17 So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. 18 If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. 20 Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.” Philemon 8–20 (ESV)

Since the name Onesimus means “useful,” Paul makes a play on words: “the man who was formerly useless to you is now useful both to you and to me.” Paul has seen that Onesimus’ new status in Christ matches his name.

The providence of God is amazing, that Paul and Onesimus should meet in the city of Rome! Perhaps Philemon’s prayers brought the men together. Philemon certainly saw Romans 8:28 in action!

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 (ESV)

Paul has so much good to say about Philemon. He was a beloved friend, a man of faith and love, a refreshing Christian, a praying man, a man who obeyed God’s will. Can your friends say these things about you?

Philemon’s runaway slave could become his representative to support God’s premier missionary. But Paul doesn’t want to obligate his friend without his consent, so he is sending Onesimus back. Paul knows that Onesimus needs to face up to what he’s done, and he must make things right. But, also, Paul is helping Philemon grow in love and forgiveness. Philemon has the opportunity to receive Onesimus back as a dearly loved brother. These men have a chance to show the church what reconciliation looks like.

According to Roman law, Onesimus could have been executed for his crimes. But he had become a brother in Christ, and Philemon had to forgive him and take him back. True reconciliation is not cheap; there is a price to pay. Paul knew this and was willing to pay the price himself.

As Dr. Tony Evans writes, “We need mediators in the church like Paul, who mirrored his Savior. After all, Jesus Christ took every sinful debt that we owed God and said, Charge it to my account.”

Though this letter is short, it demonstrates the great power of the gospel when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Whether we have done wrong like Onesimus, been wronged like Philemon, or need to mediate between two brothers like Paul did, following Jesus Christ means submitting to his kingdom agenda for reconciliation. Forgiveness is a divine condition for experiencing and exercising kingdom authority in prayer.

“And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. 23 Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Mark 11:22–26 (ESV)

What do your friends say about you and the way you forgive? Can God use you as a mediator or reconciler with those in your circle? Are you willing to pay the price to help restore a brother or sister to the faith or in relationship as Jesus did? Who in your life needs forgiveness? Will you pursue them with a heart of forgiveness and reconciliation?
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Today, who are you most like: Paul, Onesimus, or Philemon? How is God leading you in forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration? Start this day by forgiving those who have wronged you, no matter what they have done, and seek to restore them in the power of Jesus.

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